Conspiracy Theory

Every woman knows that after a long day of wearing high heals you are ready to get out of those things, prop your feet up and have a nice long foot massage. Yet, it is funny how when you first put them on you thought to yourself how great your ass looked and that they completed your outfit. We all know that any and all pain for about, oh say, the first three hours is totally ignored but by the end of the day you never want to put a high heel on again. The next day rolls around, and you are walking through the mall in your flip flops or fashionable flats and you stumble across a huge shoe sale. Your eyes are immediately drawn toward those three inch-strapy-sexy-black heels with the cute polka dots. Of course you shouldn't buy them, however, they are forty percent off, super cute, incredibly irresistible, and in the last five minutes of staring at them you have fallen completely in love and can't imagine your closet with out them. In the end you will purchase them, wear them once get a blister, or five, and throw them in the back of your closet with the other incredibly sexy shoes that cause you more pain than pleasure. The cycle never ends and as much as we complain we will never cease to buy yet another pair of devilishly alluring heels.

Though our gender has come to terms with these so called "rules" of the road when it comes to heels, I believe there is a large conspiracy at hand.

Really, what woman in the world would have come up with the idea of putting our shoes on a two–five inch stick to increase our height at the cost of any and all comfort?

None.

My thoughts exactly!

I think that men came up with this fashion item to hinder women from being able to escape them when they have done something stupid. Every woman knows it is extremely hard if not impossible to run away in heels, we are also aware of the fact that trying to run away in heels makes us look absolutely ridiculous, and no woman wants to purposely look ridiculous, this is why we check ourselves out in the mirror approximately six times on average before leaving the house. Or at least I do.

Men are clearly responsible.

However, I know that personally I couldn't live without my closet full of heels. They make me feel like a true woman; gorgeous, confident, completely in charge and on top of the world. I can be going out with my girls to grab smoothie, going to a club for a night on the dance floor, or going into the office to do my job, and a fabulous pair of heels make me feel almost invincible.

When I was a little girl I used to sneak into my mother’s closet and pick out a pair of heel for the day. I would put them on and follow them with a large amount of clothing because every little girl knows that the more grown-up items you have one the more you think you can pass for an actual adult, even in your small stature. My mother would of course shake her head laugh give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and tell me to put it all back where I found it. I’d always do as she asked but take my time, putting the heels back. I’d imagine what my own closet would look like when I was an adult and I think I have it even better than I could have ever imagined.

I guess men did at least one good thing right, inventing these fabulous fashion items.